


Courage

by divineprentiss



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Lesbian Relationship, F/F, Fake Character Death, Happy Ending, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Emily Prentiss, Useless Lesbians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-15 00:02:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29924880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/divineprentiss/pseuds/divineprentiss
Summary: Emily and Cassidy have had their fair share of ups and downs over the years. With a few coming outs, first kisses ad not-so-dead deaths along the way.
Relationships: Emily Prentiss/Original Character(s), Emily Prentiss/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 6





	Courage

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: howdy, I originally wrote this over on my tumblr (@underratedmisfit) and I thought I’d finally post it on here. This is a long ish one shot so buckle in, I hope you enjoy :)

Taking a deep breath I raise my hand to the door and knock three times successively.

“Come in” a deep, smooth voice comes from within the office.

Opening the door I smile at the man within, “Agent Hotchner? Hi I’m Agent Milles. I’ve just transferred from anti-terrorism, the lovely brightly coloured dressed lady told me I could find you in here.”  
  
“Ahh that’d be Penelope Garcia, our technical analyst. Agent Milles, I’ve been expecting you. Have a seat” the tall man in front of me responded, closing the file in front of him. It didn't take long for my brain to connect the dots and realise it was my file he had been reading.

“I see you got my file” I say, still smiling.

“I did, and its an impressive file at that one. I see you’ve worked with Agent Jareau before, you should get used to the rest of the teams dynamics soon. It’s... an odd dynamic” he says, smiling slightly.

“I’m used to an odd dynamic, I had a complex team to say the least” I reply, chuckling to myself slightly. Agent Hotchner smiles at my reply before standing up.

“You ready to meet the team?”

”Of course, let’s go.”

We make our way out of his office and down the hall into what I believe to be a conference room of sorts. As we make our way in my thought were confirmed when I was met by 5 sets of eyes, all trained on me. I recognised Penelope from earlier, I sent her a big smile before moving my eyes onto the other people stood in front of me. I also didn't fail to recognise JJ sat down at the table, as well as another face that I couldn't quite put a name to.

“I wasn't aware we were getting a transfer Hotch. Who’s this pretty face?” a dark skinned man spoke out, extent ending his hand out to mine.

“Derek” Agent Hotchner says raising his eyebrow, “Team, meet Agent Cassidy Milles who’s just transferred from anti-terrorism.”

“Cass? Oh my god, hi. I didn't recognise you!” JJ squeals, standing up and rushing towards me, arms out. 

“Hey JJ, it’s nice to see you again. No I had black hair back then and as you can see, I’m a red head now” I laugh, giving her a hug.

“I can see that, nice hair!”

”Agent Milles, this is Dr Spencer R-“

“Dr. Spencer Reid, hi. I was at one of the seminars you and Agent Rossi guest spoke at last year” I say, smiling widely.

“Hi, I thought I recognised you. It’s nice to speak to you again” he replied, with a smile on his face. Something tells me that he didn't get recognised a lot by the expression on his face when I spoke.

“It’s nice to meet you properly Agent Milles” Agent Rossi says, extending his hand. I accept the invitation and shake his hand. A smile hadn't left my face since I walked into the room.

“Where’s Prentiss?” Hotch asks the room.

“I’m here, sorry traffic was a nightmare” a response comes from my left. I move my gaze onto the beautiful brunette that had just walked into the room. All the air from my lungs seemed to be sucked out at the sight of her.

“Prentiss this is Agent Milles, she’s just transferred here from the anti-terrorism team.”

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you” I say, offering her a wide smile. She returns the smile, brow furrowed slightly as if she was having an internal conversation with herself.

“Please, call me Cassidy. Milles makes me feel like my mother” I say, making the team laugh.

“Now introductions are out of the way, shall we Garcia?”

“Of course sir, today we are off to Chicago.”

-

“You did well today Cassidy, not many people would be able to connect the dots as quickly as you could. Well apart from the boy wonder laying on the couch” Derek comments from across the table.

“I heard that Derek” Spencer shoots back, sending a chuckle through the four of us.

“Why thank you, I have a sharp eye” I say, with a semi-flirty tone in my voice.

“So, tell us more about you.”

“Well I joined the FBI 8 years ago now I think, I was bouncing around teams for about a year until I joined anti-terrorism. I stayed their for 7 years until I decided a change of scenery was just what I needed. Luckily Hotch got in contact just after I’d decided I wanted to switch to a different team. And here I am.” My gaze slipping onto the brunette sat next to him.

“Talk about lucky timing” JJ says from besides me.  
  
“You could say that” I reply, winking at Emily.

“Any juicy details we should know about?” Derek says, wiggling his eyebrows.

I chuck the file in my hand down onto the table and lean forwards slightly. “What do you want to know handsome?”  
  
“Well, are you single? Boyfriend? Married?”

Smirking I lean backwards into my seat, “Nope, single for many years now and even if I wasn't, I wouldn't have a boyfriend.”

“You’ve lost me angel face” Derek responds, brows furrowed slightly.

“Well I’m a bit like you Derek. Except for the face I’m not a ladies man, I’m a ladies lady” I reply, smirk on my face. Emily’s face lifts up from the file in her hands, eyes connecting with mine and smirking at me. 

“No fucking way. You’re gay” he says, eyes wide open with shock.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing Derek.”

“No no no, I didn’t mean it like that I-”

“Yo chill out” I say, reaching my hand out to grab Derek’s arm, “it’s cool. I get the reaction, most people either react like that or even worse. I get it.”

“Please know I didn't mean anything by what I said” Derek says, the panicked tone in his voice prominent.

“Derek, its all good I promise. I know you mean well” I reply, sounding as sincere as I could.

“He had the same reaction when I came out, don't worry about it?” My head snapped up, straight to the source of the voice. My smile quickly turned into a smirk.

“Oh did he now?”

“Yup, then he tried to set me up with one of Penelope’s friends. Unsuccessfully, may I add.” Her smirk now mirrored mine.

“Don’t worry Derek, I won’t need you to set me up with anyone.”

“Oh, and why would that be sweetheart” Derek inquires, a smirk growing on his face as he puts together the pieces. My line of sight swaps from Derek to Emily, my own smirk evident.

“I’ve got this one on my own” I reply, winking at Emily one final time before picking the file back up from the table.

-

The last few months at the BAU have been some of the best ones in my career. Granted, they’ve been bonkers and the team has been all over America. But overall, I couldn't be happier being here. Actually thinking about that statement, I could be happier. But that’s not the point here. We’ve had some good cases, some bad cases, and some truly hideous cases. But we’ve got through them together. As a team.

Speaking of team, we’d just got back from a pretty straight forward case - well, as straight forward as cases go in this job - and most of the team scattered, having done the paperwork on the plane ride home. I believe the only ones left in the office are myself and Hotch, although I think Emily is around here somewhere as her bags are still at upon her desk. I hadn't got all my paperwork done on the plane as my attention had been elsewhere, but I didn't fancy having a stack of paperwork to do tomorrow so I decided to stay back and get it done. Besides, it wasn't as if I had anyone to go home to. If anything, the person I wanted to go home to might still be in the building with me. I’d call that a win.

My suspicions about Emily being here were confirmed when Emily sauntered into the office with 2 cups of coffee in her hands, making a beeline straight to my desk.

“Hey gorgeous, is Hotch still here?” I ask, spinning round in my chair to meet her body as she plants herself onto the edge of my desk. She leans down slightly, handing me a cup from her hand.

“Soy milk caramel latte, right?” Emily asks, brow raised.

Nodding my head, I reply, “perfect, I’m surprised you remembered.”

“I remember everything you tell me princess” she replies, her head tilting down a bit to meet my gaze, “and as for Hotch, no he left a few minutes ago. I bumped into him coming out of the elevators. It’s just us here. Speaking of which, why are you still here? You never stay this late.”

“Keeping tabs on me now are we Prentiss?” I ask, flirtation laced in my words.

“You know I am sweetheart” she says back, with the same flirty tone. This wasn't unusual for us, we flirted all the time. Some might say we are worse than Penelope and Derek but I say we are better than them. It’s never led anywhere though but who knew, tonight could be different.

“Cass?” A hand comes up to my face and pulls my chin up so I our eyes meet. Her fingers run down my cheeks slightly before pulling away. My cheeks instantly flush at both the contact and the loss of contact.

Coughing slightly and maintaining eye contact, I reply softly “yeah I’m here. Sorry I zoned out for a second. What did you say?”

“I asked why you’re still here.”

“Oh right sorry. I was a bit preoccupied on the plane to finish all the paperwork off and I’d rather not come in tomorrow and see files stacked on my desk. Especially considering we don't know where we’ll be tomorrow” I reply, sarcasm lacing in my voice causing her to chuckle lightly.

“A very wise decision on your part there Cassy” Emily says, voice trailing off at the end. It was my turn to reach up and make skin to skin contact. But since she was sat on my desk her face was too far up for me to reach without me standing up. So I placed my hand on her arm and rubbed it gently.

”You okay Em?”

“Yeah all good” she says, her hand laying on top of mine. It was rare that we had moments like this, so when they did happen it makes me treasure each of them a bit more than the last one.

”Honey come on, you know you can talk to me about anything.”

”Do you ever feel like life is passing you up sometimes?”

“It sure feels like that sometimes” I say with a sigh, “why, what do you think’s passing you up?”

“Any sort of life outside of the BAU. A family. Kids. A girlfriend. Hell, even any sort of stable life. Me and you both know that we don't get any sort of down time with this job” Emily practically yells out “how am I supposed to get any private life stability with this kind of job?”

Sighing softly I stand up from my seat and walk a few steps closer to Emily’s position on my desk. It’s a bit nerve wracking since we’ve never been this close before. But this wasn't about me and Emily, it was about making sure she would be okay.

“Hey come here” I take her hand into mine, trying to soothe out the anxieties in her, “look I’m not going to stand here and say that this job makes for an easy life outside of it because we both know that’d be a load of bullshit. But what I am going to say is that you can’t lose hope about all of this. Yes this job is practically impossible for stability, but I believe it can be done. You just have to work twice as hard unfortunately. But hey, nothing good in life is ever free, is it?”

The final comment seems to make her laugh, easing the tension in a heartbeat. “Thank you Y/N, you don’t know how much I needed to hear that.”

“Anytime, you know that” I say, a wide smile plastered on my face.

Emily hesitates for a second, unsure if she wants to say anything. “Do I?” she finally replies. I take a step backwards, confused as to what's going on.

“Excuse me?”

“I’m serious Cass!” Emily sighs, starting to lose her temper, “how do I know that you're not just here for the chase, for the game?”

“You don’t Em” I begin. Emily doesn't take well to the start of my speech, getting up and storming over to her desk before turning back round to me.

“That’s not ... how does that-“

“Let me finish Em” I half shout, retracing her steps to where she’s standing.

“Okay, sorry..”

“You don’t know that I’m not here for the ‘game” I quote, “because I have only shown you the signs that this is a game to me. I swear this, this thing we have between us, its not a game. Not to me anyway. You have had me under a spell since the day I locked eyes on you four months and 13 days ago.”

“You’ve been counting?” she chuckles, making me laugh with her.

“I wish I could say I have, but Spencer informed me earlier how long I'd been longing after you. He said it was time one of us told the other how we felt.”

“Good old Spence.”

“No really, without hearing that from Spence earlier I don't think I’d have had the courage to tell you. Not for a while anyway. Here's the thing Emily. You put up all these walls to stop people from coming in, but the higher your walls get the more I want to break them down. No matter what it might cause. Because I am falling for you Emily Prentiss and I need to know you’ll be here to catch me when I fall.”

The room falls silent, my words sinking into Emily. Judging by the air, I put two and two together and realise I’ve just blown my shot. Or any chance I may have had. Spinning round on the balls of my feet I drag myself away from the woman whom I adored and to my desk, gathering up the paperwork and placing it into my bag. I hear footsteps crossing the room but don’t think twice about it, figuring she was running away. Not that I could blame her, I had come on quite suddenly I guess. What I didn’t realise was that the footsteps had been coming my way until a hand grabbed my arm and soft lips smash onto mine. It took a few moments to realise what was happening before my mouth moved at the same pace as the one attached to me did.

Just the thought of kissing Emily made the butterflies in my stomach go crazy; but this, this was a whole new level of butterflies. And fireworks. Lots of fireworks. Like the firework show over the Thames on New Years Eve, but better. So much better. The fireworks only increase when I feel Emily’s tongue run across my lips, asking for permission to enter. Granting her permission, the kiss goes from being controlled and passionate to frenzied and full of lust. The kiss goes on for what feels like simultaneously forever and not long enough (although there will never be enough time to kiss Emily) before I pull back for air. Our eyes open at the same time and become locked on one another, neither of us moving too much. 

Our happy little bubble quickly pops when a text tone alerts us that we’d got an emergency case that we needed to leave for within the hour, giving me and Em very little time to change before we were to meet the rest of the team on the tarmac. Luckily for us I always carried two changes of clothes in each of my go bags meaning we both had a change of clothes and didn't need to go home.

After getting changed and sorted we both headed down to our cars, knowing it'd be incredibly suspicious if we both rolled up in the same car. Even though we know Penelope probably caught our takeout on the CCTV cameras, we knew she wouldn't spill without confronting us first. We share a quick, but passionate, kiss before splitting up and heading to the tarmac separately.

We were met by the eyes of a suspicious Derek Morgan and a half asleep, yet smirking Spencer Reid when we stepped onto the plane. Granted, my ponytail may have been a bit messy but he has no solid proof as to who (or what) caused it. I fell into the seat opposite Spencer, who'd since put his book on the table between us and shoot a wink his way. Spencer chuckles, causing Derek to sulkily say “what, so pretty boy gets to know the 410 but not me.” The conversation unfortunately got put to a halt there as Hotch comes onto the plane with a concrete look on his face, alerting us that the case was more severe than we’d thought.

“I’m so sorry for calling you in so soon after we got back, but you know I wouldn't do it unless it was absolutely necessary. Don’t worry, we have a long flight ahead of us so you can all get some rest before we arrive. Garcia, go ahead.”

“Okay my lovely cherubs, we are off on a not so lovely case to Nashville, Tennessee...”

-

“Oh it’s been a week too long Quantico” I mutter to myself, pushing the elevator button. I’d had a week of off days to use up so I decided to visit my best friend in sunny Florida. It’d been an odd week that’s for sure. When I flew out I decides to keep my break completely communication free, telling Hotch that unless I’d been fired then everything could wait until when I got back. I even left my phone stuffed in between paperwork inside my desk. In hindsight, definitely not the best move on my behalf. But nothing could’ve ever pointed to what was going to happen within the last week, so I didn't think twice about cutting all contact and communication for a week. I expected everything to be the same as it was before I left. However as the elevator doors opened to the 6th floor, the air became sticky and heavy. I didn't think much of it until I opened the glass doors into the BAU and saw the team all stood near my desk, awaiting my arrival.

“Hey guys! As nice as it was to get away, I’m so glad I’m home” teary eyes all look at me, each of them trying to find the right words to say, “Jesus Christ, who died?”

My apparent attempt to lighten up the mood did the complete opposite, causing Spencer to collapse in a flood of tears. I jerk my eyes quickly from a huddled up genius to a hard faced Hotch. “Hotch, what the hell is going on?”

“I need you to sit down Cass” he replies, dragging my chair out from under my desk.

“You’re scaring me now Hotch” I reply, taking a seat and gently placing down my bags down before turning slightly to face them all, my eyes finally doing a sweep of who's here. JJ stands the furthest away, in her own little world, with Penelope holding Reid slightly further forwards. Rossi stands with his hand on top of Morgan’s shoulder, his fingers almost massaging Derek’s skin every now and again, soothing the obviously distressed boy. Hotch sits on a chair in front of me, reaching his own hand out to hold mine. It takes my brain a few moments to register that Emily isn't present. “Where’s Em?” I ask, peering around the empty room to try find the brunette I adored so much.

“Cassidy.. When you were away, there was a case. A personal case. One that included Emily’s past.” Hotch starts.

“Okay, I still don't understand how that answers my question. What happened on the case? Is Emily okay? Was she hurt” starting to get agitated.

”Cass-“

“Emily’s dead Cassy” Derek yells, “that bastard killed her.”

“... WHAT!?”

“I’m so sorry Cass, she was fighting someone named Doyle and he killed her...”

“No, this cant be right” I yell, getting up from my seat in a trance. “You’re lying, she's right here. She’s just in the conference room, look!” I run to the conference room, shouting “Em” as I search the room for her. I hear the footsteps behind me coming into the room as I stop in the middle of the room, feeling sick to my stomach.

“She’s gone Cassy, I was with her on the way to the hospital” Derek says softy, his sentence causing me to fall into a heap on the floor. Bodies rush to my side, but none of them are the body I crave the most. I know Spencer’s the one with his head against mine when I feel the tears fall from his cheeks onto my forehead.

“I’m so sorry Cass” he whispers, kissing my forehead lightly.

“I... I never got to tell her that I love her” I say, the last bit of my facade crumbling causing me to sob violently into Spencer’s arms. More arms wrap around me as my sobs become more hysterical.

Within minutes my body had become numb from all the pressure being put on it, but I couldn't care less right now. I just want my Emily back. “I want my Emily back.” A sentence, when said aloud, caused the majority of the team to break down. Including the two team members isolated by the door.

”Hotch are you sure it has to be this way?”

”If there was any other way then we’d have done that JJ. You know that..”

”But look at her Hotch.. she’s never going to get past this.”

”She has to, the team needs her.”

”I can’t stand here and look at her like this Hotch. I need to get out of here.”

Above the cries of the room I could make out JJ and Hotch’s voices having a hushed conversation, one they obviously didn’t want anyone hearing from the tones of their voices. I, however, picked up a bit of the conversation before it was cut short by the small, teary eyes blonde storming out.

-

I can’t tell you how long it’s been since Emily’s funeral, partly because I’ve completely lost track of time. I wasn't allowed to be on my own for long periods of time, under Hotch’s order, so most nights I’d stayed with Derek. He’s become my rock throughout this all. Him and JJ. If I didn't have them I think I’d still be in complete denial about the whole thing. All I do know is in whatever time had passed, the team managed to get Doyle in their custody. Without much struggle apparently, which I have to admit is a bit odd considering how many years he'd gone under the radar before. I wasn't allowed into the room with him, which is understandable. Hell, I wasn't allowed into the same vicinity as him without at least two other people with me. He murdered the love of my life and, from what I’d been filled in on, the love of his life. I just sat at my desk in autopilot mode, just getting things done. I wasn't much more helpful in the field mind you, so I usually stayed back with Penelope when the team had a more complex case.

A gentle squeeze of my shoulder jolts me back to reality. It was Rossi. He said Hotch had called a team meeting in the conference room and required all of our presences, specifically mine apparently. Whatever that meant. Derek helped me into the conference room and into a chair closest to the door we’d just walked through. My joints groaning at me from the lack of movement in them recently. Not that I could've helped it. Some comments are passed around the room upon my arrival, not that I could tell you anything that’d been said.

”Damn Hotch wasn’t kidding about needing us all..” I mutter under my breath as Hotch flies in form the door in front of me.

“Welcome back” Derek says.

“Thank you” Hotch replies, “everybody take a seat.”

Glancing at each other in a confused matter, the rest of the team take their seats. Derek stayed standing up, placing himself as close as he could to my seat.

“Why? What’s going on, is everything alright?” Derek asks, taking my hand into his and pressing circles into it. JJ appears in front of us next to Hotch, further confusing the team.

“7 months ago I made a decision that affected the team. Some of us more than others” Hotch started, his gaze flickering to mine. My brows furrowed and I squeezed Derek’s hand slightly tighter as out eyes met. “As you all know Emily had lost a lot of blood after her fight with Doyle” _wait, had?_ “The doctors were able to stabilise her and she was airlifted from Boston to Birthesta under a covered exploitation.” Everyone’s eyes lifted up, snapping from person to person, wondering if they’d heard right - including me.

“No” I find myself muttering softly.

“Her identity was strictly on a need to know basis. And she stayed there until she was well enough to travel. She was reassigned to Paris where she was given several identities, one of which we had access to for her security.” The room fell silent for a minute, everybody starting to process what they’d just been told.

“You’re lying” I say, my voice still low but my eyes moving up to meet JJ’s. Her eyes met mine with an apologetic glint in them. “No fucking way.”

“Sh- she’s alive?” Penelope asks through her tears. Hotch’s slight head tilt gave us our answer.

“But we buried her...” Spencer says, his voice breaking and trailing off at the end.

“As I said, I take full responsibility for the decision. If anyone has any issues they should be directed towards me.”

“Any issues?” Derek says, his voice raising “yeah I got issues. This girl has been a shell of herself since Emily’s funeral and now your telling us Emily was never dead in the first place?!” Footsteps make their way up the corridor and stop a few metres behind me.

I noticed JJ and Hotch’s attention move slowly onto the person behind me. “No” I muttered again slowly standing up, this time loud enough to gain everyone’s attention. As quick as I’d gained the attention, I’d lost it again. Everyone’s faces had a look of pure shock and surprise on them. All of them apart from Hotch and JJ’s. “I knew it” I growled lowly, my gaze pointed directly on JJ.

“Cass..” JJ began, getting cut off but by a gasp coming from Penelope’s direction.

“Oh my god.”

I didn’t need to look behind me to know who was stood in the doorway. It was Emily..

“Hi” the soft voice says, “I’m so-“

”I trusted you JJ. I trusted you and all this time you knew she was still alive?!”

“Cass, I couldn-“

”I don’t care if you couldn’t! I called you every single night, for the last 6 and a half months in tears because I couldn’t cope with the pain. I had to move into Derek’s use I couldn’t bring myself to go home.”

”Cassidy, you need to calm down.”

“No Hotch, I won't calm down! I have woken up every morning screaming and with sweat running down my face because I’ve just watched the woman I love die. I don't care that you couldn't tell me. I care about the fact I put all my trust in you only to find out she’s still alive!” I scream, spinning round and pointing at the figure in the doorway.

”Oh my god it’s really you.. you’re alive” I whisper, my voice rough from screaming so loudly.

”Hi Cassy” Emily replies, a small smile ghosting her lips as she talks.

“No, I can’t do this” I say, moving around my seat and making my way to where Emily stands. As I try to make my way out, she grabs hold of my arm and pulls me back,

“Cassidy stop, we need to-“

I snatch my arm quickly out of her grasp, “No, I have nothing to say to you. And don't you dare think about following me!” I respond, running out of the room and out of the office as quickly as I could.  
  


_Emily Prentiss is still alive..._

_-_

The news about Emily’s not death had spread around quickly. The team had managed to catch the ones hunting for Doyle’s son and Doyle had been shot dead, along with a few others. I wouldn't have known that however, had Derek not shot me a text to tell me what’d happened. I’d spent every minute since I got home laying in the arm chair I’d sat in when it first clicked that I’d fallen completely in love with Emily. We were sat playing cards one evening after a case and I’d just called her out for cheating, she was defending herself so articulately that it made something just click in my brain. I realised I was in love with her, but I was always too big of a wuss to say it to her face. I think deep down she knew, but if she did she never said anything. 

A gentle, but firm rasp at my door knocked me out of the spell I was in. I knew that rasp anywhere, and I knew that it could only be one person at my door.

“Cassy, I know you're in there. Please, I need to talk to you” the voice said, further confirming who it was. On the other side of the door stood Emily Prentiss, and I was about to come face to face with her since I stormed out of the conference room 4 days ago.

I pad over to the door, unlocking the clasp and walk back to my chair, sitting back down in the position I was in before. I can hear a sign come from behind the wood before the door creaks open. Emily slips into the room and locks the door behind her, taking off her coat and making her way to where I sit.

”Can I?” she asks tentatively.

”Sure..”

Em places herself strategically into the sofa directly opposite from where I sat, knowing this was the best way at getting me to interact with her at all. We sit in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, both unsure of how to handle this.

”Look I know you’re mad at me-“

“For gods sake I’m not mad at you Emily!” I practically yell, “I’m not mad, I’m fucking hurt. Do you know this is the first time I’ve been here in nearly 8 months? I tried to come here, but I could never get passed the door because the place still smelled like you. Like that stupid perfume we all love so much.. I’ve slept in Derek’s spare room. I spent at least an hour on the phone with JJ every night because of how much my heart hurt, how much it ached for you. Poor Spencer has ripped himself up about not getting to say goodbye to you. On the outside Rossi might look like he’s stable, but these last few months have not been kind to him. If anything, he's taken it the worst out of anyone.. I’m not angry at you. Am I angry at JJ and Hotch? You bet your ass I am. I’m beyond pissed with them. But you? I could never be mad at you Emily.”

Tears were streaming down my cheeks at this point, tears I was no longer able to hide. Emily moved from her seat on the couch and crouched in front of me, our faces at the same height. Our bodies were as close to each other as we could get them without sitting on one another laps. Her hand came out and rested itself on my cheek as I subconsciously pressed my cheek further into her hand. We stayed in this position for a few moments, just taking in each other, before Emily’s voice perked up, “I begged JJ to tell you I was okay. These past 7 months have been the toughest months of my life. I lost my family. I lost the best people I have ever met. I lost a part of myself that night, a part of myself I’ll never be able to get back. But most heartbreaking, I lost you.. I lost you right as I got the courage to tell you how in love with you I am.”

The tears, whilst still prominent, had calmed down a bit. I hadn't looked at it that way. I may have lost my favourite person, but Emily’s entire life had been swept up from under her feet without any warning.

I sighed, reaching up with both my hands to cup her face. “I love you Em, so much. I just.. I need some time to process all of this” I say gently, pulling myself flush into her. She wraps her arms around my body, placing her head against my shoulder.

“Take as much time as you need, I’m here. I’ll be right here, I’m not leaving.”

“You promise?”

“I promise sweetheart” Emily says softly, “and I never intend to break that promise.”

_Maybe we can find a way through this after all..._


End file.
